How can you address a friend’s disrespectful behavior towards others? On this segment of ‘Lifequakes,’ hosts Jessica Reyes, Patricia Wu, and guest therapist Ryan Heapy get right into it.
Navigating Friendship: Viewer’s Dilemma with Disrespectful Friend
“She’s recently started noticing how one of her closest friends talks about and treats women, and it’s making her uncomfortable. He makes derogatory comments and jokes that are disrespectful. She knows it’s wrong, but she’s not sure how to bring it up without causing a rift. How can she address this behavior and encourage him to change without damaging their friendship?”
What Should You Do?
Ryan explains that anytime we want to confront a friend, it can be difficult. Maybe you’re worried they will get defensive or you don’t want to start conflict. Even though you’re not agreeing with the person, start from a place of as much listening and understanding as possible to get a grasp on the full context of the situation. The next step is to be able to point out the specific behavior without attacking the other person. Give them clear examples of what needs to be changed.
Disrespectful Behavior: Using “I” Statements
Using “I” statements when talking to a friend about their behavior is important because it helps you share your feelings without blaming them, making the conversation more positive and understanding. For example: “You know how much I respect our friendship, but when you do (this behavior), I feel (what do you feel?)
Qualities of a True Friend
At the end of the day, Ryan says a good friend will take all of this into consideration. They should absorb how these remarks are making you feel, respect your boundaries, and be open to working on some of those areas of improvement. A true friend values your feelings and is willing to make changes for the sake of the relationship, showing empathy and a commitment to mutual respect.
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