By Mackenzie Thullen
The Illusion of Having it All Together
There are usually about 4 years of college for your undergrad. For me, it was 3. So 36 months, 156 weeks, or 1,095 days. That seems like enough time to get your life together right? I sure thought so, but little did I know just how wrong I was.
My entire life I was under the impression that finishing school would be the best thing that ever happened to me. My greatest achievement. A new chapter. “The real start to my life.” But it wasn’t…at least not in the way that I expected. Walking across that graduation stage was like a fever dream. I was surrounded by so much love with people congratulating me and being so excited for me. But why wasn’t I excited?
My whole life I thought at 22 years old I would graduate, have a career in my major, move out of my parent’s house, get married by 25, and have kids by 27. But I couldn’t think about any of that because I wasn’t ready (I’m still not). I was so incredibly depressed. My only thought was what now?
The Realities of Post-Grad Life
When the celebrations stopped and the anticipation faded, I quickly realized what I was really in for. Gone were the days of my friends being down the hall or a stone’s throw away. Instead, they were in different cities, states, and even countries. My weekends out partying were traded for lonely nights in and my life in my college house was reverted back to my life in my hometown that I thought I’d escape.
I thought to myself, where was my celebration now? When I’m working every day while the weight of the real world crushes me? Where was the support when I was having an identity crisis trying to figure out who I was without school, my sorority, clubs, or friends? What’s my purpose?
Asking what your purpose in life is at the mere age of 21 is a terrifying thought. It feels like a very premature midlife crisis. I was embarrassed because it seemed like everyone around me had it all figured out and I was being left behind. Because we’re supposed to be “real” adults now right? Wrong.
Post-Grad Depression: You’re Not Alone
You’re not as alone as you think you are. What most people fail to mention is about 40% of recent graduates are underemployed, meaning they are working in jobs that don’t require a degree at all. In certain fields, as few as 25-30% of graduates work in jobs directly tied to their major. Also, 54% of young adults in the U.S. move back in with their parents at some point after graduating from college.
But no one talks about this. No one talks about how tough of a transition graduating really is or how you’re mourning the loss of who you were before.
Change is scary and difficult. This is exactly why I think we should talk about it more because it’s comforting to know that you’re not the only one struggling and you don’t have to have everything together right now.
Finding Peace in the Pause
There’s no need to rush life because then you forget to actually enjoy it. One unexpected gift of post-grad life is the chance to slow down. College is fast-paced, with deadlines, exams, and a constant buzz of activity. But once you graduate, life forces you to slow down and reassess what truly matters to you. For me, this meant rediscovering hobbies I had put aside during college. I started reading again, writing more, thrifting, and exploring new creative outlets. This slower pace allowed me to reconnect with what I love and reminded me that growth isn’t always about speed—it’s about intention.
It’s okay if your journey doesn’t look like everyone else’s and it’s also okay to be sad about it. In these months following graduation, I’ve learned that post-grad life is a time to explore different paths, make mistakes, and grow at your own pace. It’s okay not to have all the answers right away. Your pace is entirely your own and taking more time to discover what you want to do in life does not make you any less of a person.
Embrace Your Unwritten Story
I thought that I would be living halfway across the country right now with a career in fashion marketing. Instead, I’m looking for apartments near me while working as a writer/associate producer for the Mental Health Television Network and I couldn’t be happier with that. I get to bring awareness to things often left unsaid while helping people in ways I didn’t know I could. I realized that I don’t need to have a 401k, a 740 credit score, or a new life thousands of miles away right now to feel happy. Those things will come but right now what’s important is living in the present and being grateful for what’s in front of me. I also may not have as many connections as I did in college, but the ones I do have are meaningful and enough.
The biggest lesson I’ve learned is that post-grad life is about embracing the unknown and being patient with yourself as you navigate this new chapter. This transition is challenging, but it’s also an opportunity for incredible growth. Remember, this is just the beginning of your journey. Take it one step at a time, and trust that you’re exactly where you’re meant to be.
